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I never, in spite of doing analysis, I actually believed in those things of childhood trauma and repeat behaviors from them. Never before yesterday.

I go to the office for almost three years and only yesterday I realized that all my neurotic relationships are very similar to that established when a child. Every now and then I find myself crying. I guess I never did cry, just moved on trying to be strong to forget.

Only trauma must be such as scars, marks that never really leave us. I have some left elbow that occasionally catch myself and remember to look at the ridiculous way as they appeared.

The psychologist emphasized a lot in those years that it was important to know why so many self-destructive behaviors. Next week I start, since we finally have the answer by asking,

"And now, what the fuck I do with this?"